Lil' Fatty McFatterson: 20 week update

I am officially 20 weeks today and tomorrow we will (I hope) find out the gender of our little turd.

First the facts:

Weight gain: 10 lbs – guess that’s what happens when you’re always eating and a parasite’s growing inside of you.

Cravings: 

- a conservative 2 or 3 pickle spears, with a couple gulps of pickle juice with a string cheese chaser.

- Italian dressing on bag salad

- Zaxby’s fries was the first desired specific food, now I kind of want Wendy's. 

- Fried rice with the white sauce from a Hibachi grill

- no sweets (ice cream early on for one week and I still have ice cream bars left from that)

- last night I wanted some really buttery and extra parmesan-y parmesan breadsticks.  Good thing we were at Wal-Mart already so I could go raid the freezer section.

Clothes:  no maternity yet.  Any pants that are low rise still work, anything fitted or higher-waisted I jimmy rig with a hair elastic.   A couple pairs of pants (and sadly my high-waisted pencil skirts) are officially out of commission until 5 months after this baby comes out.

In honor of finding out the gender of our fetus tomorrow, I thought I'd entertain some old wives tales.  Place your bets and we'll see who the wiener is tomorrow - maybe it's our baby.

Wives Tales:

If the dark line under you belly button stops at your belly button it's a girl.  If it continues above your bellybutton it's a boy.  GIRL

Heart beat:  Above 140 = girl, 140  or below = boy     GIRL - our was 160 on the last visit.

put your wedding band on a string or hair and dangle it over your belly.  If it swings back and forth it's a girl, if it swings in a circle i's a boy      GIRL

Key test: If you pick it up by top it's a boy.  Pick up by long skinny part, girl     BOY

Mayan Tale: add age at conception and year of conception.  If sum is even number it is a girl, odd is boy     GIRL

Acne: yes is girl, no is boy     I don't think this counts for me because acne is the story of my life.  My face acne is better, but I have back acne now (TMI?) so I don't know which way you want to go with this.  I throw it out.

How you carry: low all in front, boy; high and got wider, girl     GIRL?  I think my uterus is high so I could be a high low?  I guess we'll just go with girl though...

Cravings: salty or sour – boy; sweets, fruit, orange juice – girl   I've been pounding oranges lately, but we'll say BOY

The Chinese Gender Chart claims to have an accuracy rate of over 90%.  It is based on how old the mother is at conception and the month she conceived.  BOY

Dreams: you dream of boy, you have a girl.  If you dream of a girl you'll have a boy.  I dreamed of a boy.   GIRL

If the pregnant mother is clumsy it is a boy.  If the pregnant mother is graceful it is a girl.  Definitely a BOY on this one then.  All those years of dance only help me look graceful as I bend over to pick up everything I drop three times.

Resting side:  left – boy, right – girl     Prefer to sleep on my left side so it's a BOY

Have the pregnant mother show you her hands.  If she places them out palms up - girl, palms down – boy      BOY

Intuition: 71% of the time the mom-to-be’s guess is right.   GIRL

Morning Sickness: yes – girl, no – boy     BOY

Cold feet? Yes – boy, no – girl     GIRL

Hair on legs growing faster? Yes – boy, no – girl     GIRL

Hands dry: yes – boy, no – girl     BOY

BOY: 8

GIRL: 9

Pretty close here folks.  Guess these wives tales are full of malarkey.