Goober FrickenButt

Given to me by my niece, Sloppy FarkleHump. Here is your dose of humor... Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names... (If they're hard to follow it may help to copy and paste in word. I couldn't get it to separate like I wanted.) 1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name: a = snickle b = doombah c = goober d = cheesy e = crusty f = greasy g = dumbo h = farcus i = dorky j = doofus k = funky l = boobie m = sleezy n = sloppy o = fluffy p = stinky q = slimy r = dorfus s = snooty t = tootsie u = dipsy v = sneezy w = liver x = skippy y = dinky z = zippy 2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: a = dippin b = feather c = batty d = burger e = chicken f = barffy g = lizard h = waffle i = farkle j = monkey k = flippin l = fricken m = bubble n = rhino o = potty p = hamster q = buckle r = gizzard s = lickin t = snickle u = chuckle v = pickle w = hubble x = dingle y = gorilla z = girdle 3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: a = butt b = fart c = face d = nose e = hump f = breath g = pants h = shorts i = lips j = honker k = head l = tush m = chunks n = dunkin o = brains p = biscuits q = toes r = doodle s = fanny t = sniffer u = sprinkles v = frack w = squirt x = Humperdinck y = hiney z = juice Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny. Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put some laughter in your day.